Sunday, June 12, 2011

Love you take is equal to love you make!

Love you take is equal to love you make!

I am sitting alone in my room thinking about the most potent emotion of love. Ye na thee hamaaree qismat ke wisaal-e-yaar hota; agar aur jeete rehte yahee intezaar hota . I am not destined to meet my lover; it will be a life long wait {is not correct, the right interpretation is: if i had another life, it would be worth the wait as pointed out by my Persian scholar friend}.It is interesting, because wait is about hope to meet again. And hope is sometimes is all one needs to spend a lifetime.

Lao Tzu, ancient philosopher who is considered the father of Taoism, explains the act of loving interestingly: "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." To love somebody madly needs exceptional courage; it needs even greater courage to accept that love will never be reciprocated and still continue to love with mad devotion.

Love is beyond control. It takes control of the lover. Here I am reminded of a couplet by Ghalib who defined love as untamed fire. Ishq par zor nahin hai ye woh aatish 'Ghalib' Jo lagaaye na lage aur bujhaaye na bane (the is no control over love, it is like a fire that cannot be lit or extinguished). Fire is an appropriate metaphor for love, potent, give warmth, it brings light to life; it also causes heartburn and incinerate too.

Akbar Allahabadi (from my home town) says that love by its very nature is unconditional, reciprocation is welcome but not necessary: Mohabbat ho na ho unko mujhe kya main to aashiq hoon; Na hone se hai uske kya, agar hoti to kya hota…I don’t care whether s/he loves me or not, I am a fanciful lover. It immaterial that s/he does not love me; I wonder what would it be like if s/he had loved me!!? The desire so intense that it becomes a kind of lifeline, and meeting a partner is like dream come true, but dreams are not meant to be true, mostly, that is why they are dreams, at best a perceived reality, mostly perception is sadly illusionary. But this perceived reality becomes the only reality for some.

The desire for lover becomes so integral to the life that it becomes life threatening. Love is a potent desire that is a constant pain that one falls in love with. Jigar Moradabadi puts it beautifully that love is not bed of roses; it is about enjoying pain: Gulshan parast hoon mujhe gul hi nahin azeez; Kanton se bhi nibah kiye jaa raha hoon main.


Love is spiritual. It overwhelms the conscious and the subconscious of the lover, completely and absolutely. It makes the strongest most vulnerable, vulnerable strong, it is blissful to surrender to the will of the loved, here ego cease to interfere, devotion is absolute. That is why Thomas Mann, Nobel Prize laureate, famously said: “It is love, not reason, that is stronger than death."

Love is madness too. The 19th-century German philosopher, poet, composer and classical philologist Nietzsche is of the view that: "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." The reason in the madness could be in ‘some’ measure but madness about love is bountiful. It is illogical. It complicates being; the emotion of love is so strong it engulfs every other faculty in mind, and hangs thick on the mind like ominous, dark clouds.

Love defies reason; it is now a proven fact. Do you know love and obsessive-compulsive disorder (is an anxiety disorder in which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations or obsessions; or behaviours that make them feel driven to do something or compulsions) have a similar chemical profile in the brain? The origin of both has been traced to serotonin imbalance. H.L. Mencken, famous American journalist, essayist, satirist, says the same thing differently: "To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia."

Mind is captured, so is every other faculty of life. This couplet by Momin Khan “Momin” is my favourite and so of Ghalib who announced he would give up all his poems to have written this one: “Tum mere paas hote ho goya/Jab koi doosra nahi hota" you, my love, will remain with me even when nothing else is there.

People have expressed love in their own very interesting ways, common is the intensity and passion about it: Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven. Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me. Even a very small degree of hope is enough to cause the birth of love. You're nothing short of my everything.To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.

Famous English novelist, poet, playwright, essayist, literary critic and painter D. H. Lawrence implores people to fall in love: “I am in love - and, my God, it is the greatest thing that can happen to a man (and woman too). I tell you, find a woman (man or both) you can fall in love with. Do it. Let yourself fall in love. If you have not done so already, you are wasting your life." "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make” is a cosmic, philosophical song by Beatles credited to John Lennon and Paul McCartney.

How much love am I going to take?

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